I didn’t know where else to put this, and I wanted to get it out somewhere… but there are people missing from my life that I wish weren’t. Be it friendships that turned sour or loves that dissipated, I miss these people. Sad part is… on pretty much every occasion, it was my own doing.
Why do I keep doing this to myself?
Things also seemed to be looking good recently. I’ve been stepping so far out of my comfort zone and trying all these new things and meeting all these new people and I thought I was happy, but then I think back on these others from my past and the feeling that something is missing just keeps nagging at me.
I wish I could reach out to them… but in all honesty, I’m afraid of the reactions. The backlash. Lots of damage has been done from both sides.
I miss the good times. The hanging out doing nothing.
I miss the love we shared. The trips to wherever we felt like going.
Complacency is my biggest downfall. I know this. I accept things too easy. I tell myself things are one way and turn a blind eye to how they really are. Why do I feel so powerless to change this though? One of the greatest people in my life told me I should seek help. I was offended. Who the fuck were you to tell me this. You were the person who probably cared about me more than I even cared about myself. And you’re gone. Because of me.
Picked these up yesterday. Goddamn these things are beautiful. Can’t decide if I like these or my other florals better. #nike #nikesb #mynikes #swooshlife #igsneakercommunity #complexkicks #kicksonfire #solecollector #iluxxdunksneaks #nsb #nsborg #kickstagram #s7 #nsbga #suxcess #nikesb_holic #shoeporn #kiccz #nycgotheat #walklikeus #sbcollector #janoski #stefanjanoski #janoskiusa #floraljanoskis #digifloral #camo #camouflage #desertcamo